« All Rule Quotes · Bill Maher's Page
Rule Quotes by Bill Maher
- New Rule: If an Evangelical tries to use Halloween to pimp Jesus to kids, they get to egg his house. On Halloween, the president of…
- New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on…
- New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of…
- New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to…
- New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And…
- New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.
- NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree…
- New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It’s not their field. It’s like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in…
- New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s…
- New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to…
- New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're…
More Rule Quotes
- I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself. — Pietro Aretino
- The first person to promulgate the Golden Rule, which was the bedrock of this empathic spirituality, was Confucius 500 years before Christ. — Karen Armstrong
- There's no rule, no law, no regulation that says you can't come back. So I have every right to come back. — Lance Armstrong
- Intelligence agencies keep things secret because they often violate the rule of law or of good behavior. — Julian Assange
- Democracy is not something you put away for ten years, and then in the 11th year you wake up and start practicing… — Chinua Achebe
- Another thing that's pathetic is this rule that you have to look ugly to get respect as an actress. Jessica Lange had… — Kevyn Aucoin
- Here is the rule to remember in the future, When anything tempts you to be bitter: not, 'This is a misfortune' but… — Marcus Aurelius
- One man's style must not be the rule of another's. — Jane Austen
- We cannot build foundations of a state without rule of law. — Mahmoud Abbas
- From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal. There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses… — Mikhail Bakunin
- Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to… — Edward Abbey
- It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do… — Douglas Adams