« All New Quotes · Bill Maher's Page
New Quotes by Bill Maher
- New Rule: If an Evangelical tries to use Halloween to pimp Jesus to kids, they get to egg his house. On Halloween, the president of…
- New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on…
- A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and…
- New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house,…
- We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get the feeling this…
- New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of…
- New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to…
- The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it or not there…
- New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And…
- New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.
- In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show…
- Denying racism is the new racism
- And what is the Republican solution to these outrageous [racial] inequalities? There isn't one. And that's the point. Denying racism is the new racism. To…
- In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the…
- NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree…
- New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It’s not their field. It’s like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in…
- New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s…
- New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to…
- New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're…
- Gay marriage is spreading around the country, first Massachusetts, then San Francisco and now the small town of New Paltz, New York. The mayor said,…
More New Quotes
- The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes amounts to… — Hannah Arendt
- Stopping leaks is a new form of censorship. — Julian Assange
- Even in New York, there are a lot of very attractive girls pedaling around. That just happens to be one of the… — Paul Auster
- The alliance should agree... to an effective NATO role against the new threats presented by international terrorism and weapons of mass destruction. — Jose Maria Aznar
- In the holy city of Mecca, violence of any kind was forbidden. From the moment they left home, pilgrims were not permitted… — Karen Armstrong
- Research is creating new knowledge. — Neil Armstrong
- I thought the attractions of being an astronaut were actually, not so much the Moon, but flying in a completely new medium. — Neil Armstrong
- I think it's important as a filmmaker, as any person working in the arts, that you've got to try new stuff and… — Darren Aronofsky
- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' — Isaac Asimov
- The most extraordinary thing about trying to piece together the missing links in the evolutionary story is that when you do find… — David Attenborough
- I think every age lives in a blend of technology so there's always older ones mixed in with newer ones, and when… — Margaret Atwood
- Life is too short to spend hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart. — Kevyn Aucoin