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Masturbating Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- When it comes to masturbating, my hand can be one of the biggest jerks.
- I hate when people walk in on me masturbating and look at me like I'm the asshole.
- My sweet wife getting so upset watching Sunny Leone. Guess I should stop masturbating and see what's wrong with her.
- I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed.
- Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating.
- Nothing says 'almost caught masturbating' like having your mom walking in on you looking at the Google homepage.
- I was, uh, masturbating. - me when I don't want to admit I was in the bathroom for 30 minutes playing Angry Birds or Texas…
- Time flies when you're masturbating.
- It's rude to look while I'm masturbating.
- If your nose doesn't bleed after masturbating you fuckers are doing it wrong.
- If no one has ever caught me masturbating, have I even masturbated at all?
- Never been more embarrassed than the time I walked in on a co-worker while I was masturbating.
More Masturbating Quotes
- Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! — Robin Williams
- On her daughter's pet rabbit: I don't think he liked being in a cage and wouldn't stop masturbating and humping his bowl. — Kate Beckinsale
- My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone… — Roddy Piper
- Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes. — Unknown Author
- I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating — Mike Tyson
- Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there. — Sarah Silverman
- What do you do when you see a man masturbating at a salad baran actual salad shooterbut wait, I'm single, we're both… — Unknown Author
- The closest I ever came to death was masturbating with a 104-degree temperature. — Larry David
- Remember what Anatole France said about the dog masturbating on your leg--'Sure, it's honest, but who needs it? — Richard Yates
- Getting caught masturbating sucks. I got caught masturbating in jail 7 or 8 times, it really sucks. — Ricky Martin
- A perverse nature can be stimulated by anything. Any book can be used as a pornographic instrument, even a great work of… — Anthony Burgess
- A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell… — Chuck Klosterman