Last Count Quotes by Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey has 27 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.
• Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
• I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
• I'm English and, as such, I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
• Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
• I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say…
• I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.
• What I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it…
• Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
• Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I…
• Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would…
• Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!

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