« All Illegal Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Illegal Quotes by Jack Handey
- If you're a boxing referee, it's probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors.
- When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs…
- If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking…
More Illegal Quotes
- A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler… — Aristotle
- This is the sheriff you're talking about, with a gun and badge that enforces the law. Nothing is going to stop me… — Joe Arpaio
- Illegal immigrants are using our resources, taking our jobs, filling our schools, our hospitals and our prisons, and we are paying for… — Dan Benishek
- You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal. — Lewis Black
- House Republicans want to pass a strong border security, illegal immigration bill. We want a bill. There is no ifs, ands or… — John Boehner
- I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal. — Brandon Boyd
- My personal opinion is that you can't be racist towards white people. You can be prejudiced about them, but being prejudiced isn't… — Jo Brand
- You try turning up in America without documents, without a visa, without a passport; you'll be treated as very, very much illegal. — Tony Abbott