"If you're a boxing referee, it's probably illegal……" — Jack Handey
"If you're a boxing referee, it's probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Bow Quotes
This quote is filed under Bow Quotes,
one of 563 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Every aspect of human technology has a dark side, including the bow and arrow.
— Margaret Atwood
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I bow before the authority of special men because it is imposed upon me by my own reason.
— Mikhail Bakunin
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I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18…
— Orlando Bloom
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The bow cannot always stand bent, nor can human frailty subsist without some lawful recreation.
— Miguel de Cervantes
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Oh yeah, I mean, it wasn't a very good guitar, most good guitars have got thrust rods in the necks…
— Eric Clapton
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About humility we speak with an analogy: When the branches are full of fruit, they just bow down.
— Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
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All our moments are last moments. We abide in the forever leaving of our own coming? We can put our…
— Jens Jensen
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Anyone who thinks we can continue to have world wars but make them nice polite affairs by outlawing this weapon…
— Joel Henry Hildebrand
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The bow is tactically strong at the commencement of battle, especially battles on a moor, as it is possible to…
— Miyamoto Musashi
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Here I and sorrows sit; Here is my throne, bid kings come bow to it.
— William Shakespeare
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When you see contention amongst your enemies, go and sit at ease with your friends; but when you see them…
— Saadi
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I invite you to bow your head and quietly whisper the prayer that will change your eternity: Jesus I believe…
— Rick Warren
See all 563 Bow Quotes »