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Head Quotes by Jack Handey
- I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the…
- I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be…
- Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring…
- I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus plant…
- If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing…
- I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having…
- I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb…
- Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head". Normally,…
- It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes, until finally they got the nerve to head out onto…
- When you first start wearing a turban, probably the most common mistake is wrapping it too tight. You have to allow the head to breathe.
- As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable-until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all,…
- Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I…
- Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up.
- Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were…
- I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you…
- I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every…
- Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said, 'Hey, how's it going?' So I grabbed his arm and twisted…
More Head Quotes
- Making movies was more a reaction to not being chosen for sports. Other kids were out there playing at whatever; I was… — J. J. Abrams
- People that go through what I went through and people going through divorce, it's really a difficulty process; it's heartbreaking and it… — David Arquette
- There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the… — Antonin Artaud
- It is not the Head but the Heart that is the Seat of Atheism. — Mary Astell
- Bad company is like a nail driven into a post, which, after the first and second blow, may be drawn out with… — Saint Augustine
- Who can map out the various forces at play in one soul? Man is a great depth, O Lord. The hairs of… — Saint Augustine
- Vanity working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief. — Jane Austen
- The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed… — Alfred Austin