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Funny Quotes by Tom Lehrer
- Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
- The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and…
- The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the…
- If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.
- Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now, to quote myself at my most…
- Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things!
- Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.
- Comedy is very important, yes. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because…
- Once you've heard the joke, it's not funny anymore, but it's the way it's told. And I think that's the same with the music: The…
- Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
- It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
- I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin