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Funny Quotes by Larry David
- I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
- You write about what you know.
- It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often.
- Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.
- Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
- I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
- I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you…
- It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
- If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
- I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me.
- There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
- And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
- I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
- I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
- If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?
- There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!
- Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
- Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible.
- You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.
- Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin