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Funny Quotes by Celeste Hartman
- When in doubt, look it up on Google.
- Just remember, I can always make your death look like an accident. :)
- Ways to die: Steal my food
- If I were famous, I would go around knocking on peoples doors saying Hello, yes it's me.
- I love learning bad things about people I hate.
- Does anyone actually know what to do when people are singing happy birthday to you?
- I fail to understand the Good part of Good Morning.
- I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
- You would be amazed how much I'm wrong when people say guess what.
- When you take a selfie so good, you don't believe its you!
- If you like someone, tell them. Or stalk them on every single social network and cry yourself to sleep every night. It's up to you.
- What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV. It's not like you had me fooled. What's behind it...an umbrella? An elephant?
- Everyone has that ex that they don't want the world to know they ever dated.
- Just Kidding: Saying what you really want and getting away with it.
- Don't you just hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?
- Me: *laughs* Parents: What's so funny? What's going on? Who are you talking to? Can I see what the joke is? Are you hiding something?
- We all have that one friend we can't be serious with.
- I clapped because its finished, not because I liked it.
- Every time I come in the kitchen u in the kitchen, in the damn refrigerator eating up all of the food.
- This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. Dude, he told a friend, I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming…
- A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, Wow, nice legs!…
- I like you, but if ZOMBIES are chasing us, I will trip you!!!
- OMFG LMAO HAHAHA SOO TRUE!XD
- OMFG LMAO hahaha I said that to someone and they walked away like WTF and I just laughed so hard I cried!
- OMFG that would be the most amazingest guy ever!!
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More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin