« All Day Quotes · Jay Leno's Page
Day Quotes by Jay Leno
- I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach…
- I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see things, you have…
- The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
- Sen. Joe Biden, on the day of announcing his candidacy for president of the United States, called Barack Obama the first mainstream African-American who is…
- A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything…
- President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.
- Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.
- Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when…
- Oh, here's your tax dollars at work. This is what makes people furious. The head of the GSA, a woman named Martha Johnson, has resigned…
- The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the…
- It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day…
- I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch.
- My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
- Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
- Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
- Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't…
- The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can find out what makes pig manure smell…
- George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears his mind. Sometimes…
More Day Quotes
- Every day is a new opportunity for failure. — Nikhil Saluja
- Economic growth may one day turn out to be a curse rather than a good, and under no conditions can it either… — Hannah Arendt
- We construct a narrative for ourselves, and that's the thread that we follow from one day to the next. People who disintegrate… — Paul Auster
- For one swallow does not make a summer, nor does one day; and so too one day, or a short time, does… — Aristotle
- When it comes to the point where you occasionally look forward to being in prison on the basis that you might be… — Julian Assange
- I'm just a part of the scenery, like an old shoe or a rug that you walk on every day but don't… — Superman
- Lifehack: End your day whenever you accidentally close your Gmail tab. — Nikhil Saluja
- The Things That Make You Feel Bad, Are The Ones That Will Eventually Go Away, So, You Should Never Give Up Fighting,… — Ritu Ghatourey