Dave Thomas Quotes by Daniel Tosh

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Daniel Tosh has 97 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I'm not honest, but you're interesting!
• I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least…
• I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.
• I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
• I’m a Bad Test Taker…you mean you’re stupid?
• I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
• Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch…
• The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?
• Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
• Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making…
• Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
• The great thing about Los Angeles is that you can get so much money in this town by constantly failing. You can…

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