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All Quotes by Daniel Tosh
- Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
- I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house...
- The most important part of any CrossFit workout is posting about it endlessly on social media. How about you just brag about all the kettlebell…
- No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
- I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
- Instead of dumping all my money on an independent film that nobody would watch and most people would make fun of behind my back, I…
- Here's what I tell people now when they come to my shows: 'First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my…
- My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.
- I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance -- fake
- Romance works because ladies love dumb stuff and they are easily swayed by meaningless gestures. That's why all dudes have the same technique. It's called…
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- . . . a basic law: the more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.… — Norman Vincent Peale
- Whenever my pocket money fall short. I start to think my life sucks. Then I think about all those out there who… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire. — Aristotle
- Democracy arises out of the notion that those who are equal in any respect are equal in all respects; because men are… — Aristotle
- Don't be selfish and tell me why you're unfollowing me so I can retweet it for the rest and we all can… — Nikhil Saluja
- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
- Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life. — Aristophanes
- Throughout all of this confusion, I hope I somehow get to you. I practice all the things I'd say to tell you… — Superman