Asshole Quotes

331 Asshole quotes by 217 unique authors

I did things I should not have done. But people make mistakes, especially at my age, when you feel you are so smart, but in… — Martina Hingis
Where but in the very asshole of comedown is redemption: as where but brought low, where but in the grief of failure, loss, error do… — A. R. Ammons
The confusing thing is we now live in a society where it's not illegal to be an asshole, but it's illegal to slap one. — Ronda Rousey
We've already established whoever is writing us is an asshole. — John Scalzi
Whoever said the soul and the body met in the pineal gland was a fool. It's the asshole, stupid. — AndrÃ© Aciman
Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he’s a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties. — Ze Frank
Bettman is an asshole. A frikkin asshole. I think he's ruined the game of hockey. He's supposed to be impartial. He's supposed to speak for… — Bob Probert
Your religious beliefs are your business. They are not and should not be the basis for law. If you use them as justification to discriminate… — Jim C. Hines
Got a young brown stallion and she 20 years old/When she pop it from the back you see that hairy asshole. — Pimp C
Vans are the vehicles of murderers. Serial Killers. Rapists. Thieves. Nothing good ever happens in a van. Police should be allowed to arrest van drivers… — Shalom Auslander
The whole purpose of climbing something like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual and physical gain. But if you compromise the process you’re an… — Yvon Chouinard
I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking. — Chelsea Handler
Toast is bread made delicious and useful. Un-toasted bread is okay for children's sandwiches and sopping up barbecue sauce, but for pretty much all other… — Steve Albini
Don’t flirt, have sex, or engage in emotional affairs with your friends’ significant others. This shouldn’t need to be said, but it needs to be… — Roxane Gay
Watch your attitude. I don't mean to sound like so much of an old head, but there is another generation behind me, out there, doing… — Christian McBride
I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an asshole is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing… — Chris Rock
Success is always dangerous. It can make an asshole out of anybody. — Charles Bukowski
Teach that asshole some manners. — Jamie McGuire
I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality."… — Bill Cosby
What you've got is 30,000 people calling you an asshole.- Stone Cold Steve Austin What I've got is 30,000 people I couldn't care less if… — Triple H
A drug is neither moral nor immoral - it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being… — Frank Zappa
Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it. — Chuck Palahniuk
Every asshole who ever chanted 'Drill baby drill' should have to report to the Gulf coast today for cleanup duty. — Bill Maher
If you're a sexist, racist, homophobe, or basically an asshole, don't buy this CD. I don't care if you like me, I hate you. — Kurt Cobain
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’ — Louis C. K.

Who Wrote These Asshole Quotes

217 authors contributed a total of 331 Asshole Quotes, led by these top contributors: