« All According Quotes · Jay Leno's Page
According Quotes by Jay Leno
- According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.
- According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice…
- According to a new UN report, the global warming outlook is much worse than originally predicted. Which is pretty bad, when they originally predicted it…
- According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top…
- According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we…
- According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don't know . . . The only time I have ever seen…
- According to a recent study, ten percent of 'Star Trek' fans meet the psychological criteria for addiction. Deprived of their favourite show, some Trekkies disply…
- According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider…
- According to government auditors, the stimulus money is being held up because there aren't enough government workers to oversee the spending. So follow me, in…
- According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good…
- In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according to the Greek…
- According to The Washington Post, the NSA has been monitoring phone calls and emails of people in Mexico. So apparently it's not enough to spy…
- According to the latest L.A. Times poll, 75% of Californians believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. And 60% of Californians are so…
- According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than…
- According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked large amounts of…
- Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, that's according to Saddam's campaign manager, Jeb Hussein.
- According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his…
More According Quotes
- Since the Kingstonfirst BID started in January 2005, retailers have enjoyed three years of impressive sales growth, which has taken many of… — David Barford
- Some brewers of Ale and Beere doe put it into their drinke to make it more heady, fit to please drunkards, who… — Matthias de l'Obel
- Nature does not turn out her work according to a single pattern; she prides herself upon her power of variation... — Seneca the Younger
- Liberty, according to my metaphysics is a self-determining power in an intellectual agent. It implies thought and choice and power. — John Adams
- The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to your expectations… — Martha Beck
- The mental body, like the astral, varies much in different people; it is composed of coarser or of finer matter, according to… — Annie Besant
- An irrefutable proof that such single-celled primaeval animals really existed as the direct ancestors of Man, is furnished according to the fundamental… — Ernst Haeckel
- Another diversity of Methods is according to the subject or matter which is handled; for there is a great difference in delivery… — Francis Bacon