All Zach Braff Quotes
- I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written,… Acclaimed
- I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me… Age
- Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the… Anyone
- Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography. Autobiography
- People still make New Year's resolutions? Wow. I figured those were pointless once I perfected myself by directing, writing, and acting in Garden State. I… Acting
- Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later. America
- You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better. Better
- Lots of people were giving me flak when I made the deal to do the very last season of Scrubs for $350,000 an episode. When… All
- So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on… Black
- At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the… Bums
- I know that [Mike] Tyson talked about wanting to eat his opponent's children, but I don't think he ever had the balls to do it.… All
- Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible. Bible
- I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know? All
- I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a… All
- Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope… Born
- I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is… Better
- I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine. Call
- It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's… Character
- You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast… Alarm
- You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics... Eugenics
- I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray. Angelina
- Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8… Comfortable
- People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films. Always Tell
- The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I… Coke
- When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you… Always Willing