All Terry Pratchett Quotes
- If women were as good as men they'd be a lot better! Better
- Never cross a woman with a star on a stick, young lady. They've got a mean streak. Cross
- Truly, he thought, the way of enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass. Broken
- She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close. Admired
- At some time in the recent past someone had decided to brighten the ancient corridors of the University by painting them, having some vague notion… Always Smell
- Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!" "Can't we do anything about it?" "No!" "Then I can't see the sense… Calmly
- You are in favour of the common people?” said Dragon mildly. The common people?” said Vimes. “They’re nothing special. They’re no different from the rich… Balance
- Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices. Inspirational
- There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write. Block
- This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven. Became
- Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead Ahead
- I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people. Act
- Winston Churchill said 'In war time, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies'. Any book called The… Any
- Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean. Allowed
- You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you? Charged
- Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through. Dumb
- Moist was sure doctors keep skeletons around to cow patients. Nyer, nyer, we know what you look underneath ... Cow
- If he'd been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, "That's what I call sorted!" Since he wasn't a hero, he threw… Been
- Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?" "Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir. Blood
- What did they feed the lions and tigers with in the ark, sir? Ark
- A lot hinges on the fact that, in most circumstances, people are not allowed to hit you with a mallet. They put up all kinds… All
- I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence… Apparently
- I would not like it thought that I do not buy my own paperclips, sir. I enjoy owning my own paperclips. It means they are… Buy
- Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen. All
- The trouble with thinking was that, once you started, you went on doing it. Inspirational