P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

280 quotes in 3604 categories

• I am Psmith," said the old Etonian reverently. "There is a preliminary P before the name. This, however, is silent. Like the tomb. Compare such…
• Another of these strong silent men. The world is full of us.
• Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
• I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed…
• I always advise people never to give advice.
• Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All…
• It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops…
• I marmaladed a slice of toast with something of a flourish and I don't suppose I have ever come much closer to saying 'Tra la…
• A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained…
• He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
• Employers are like horses — they require management.
• You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
• What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
• Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.
• Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
• The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.
• As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
• A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
• He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
• It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a…

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