P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

280 quotes in 3604 categories

• You would be miserable if you had to go through life with a human doormat with 'Welcome' written on him. You want some one made… Ball
• Other men puffed, snorted, and splashed. George passed through the ocean with the silent dignity of a torpedo. Other men swallowed water, here a mouthful,… All
• Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. Corpse
• Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening. Any
• He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence lessons. Correspondence
• From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am… Always Wanted
• ...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature. Book
• It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it. Circumstances
• Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the… Alps
• Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the… All
• She had more curves than a scenic railway Curves
• The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin. Afternoon
• Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. Background
• It is the bungled crime that brings remorse. Brings
• The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide. Coincide
• If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine. Air
• I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments. Always Good
• There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir. Appearance
• I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I… Better
• She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him… Attitude

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