P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

280 quotes in 3604 categories

• Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous. Comedy
• Now, I am a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their shoes, the smell of… Dog
• It's curious how, when you're in love, you yearn to go about doing acts of kindness to everybody. Acts
• I should think it extremely improbable that anyone ever wrote for money. Naturally, when he has written something, he wants to get as much for… Anyone
• He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way… Air
• When Cynthia smiles, said young Bingo, the skies are blue; the world takes on a roseate hue; birds in the garden trill and sing, and… Bingo
• Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it. Fury
• I love writing. I never feel really comfortable unless I am either actually writing or have a story going. I could not stop writing. Actually Writing
• Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase. Able
• My motto is 'Love and let love' - with the one stipulation that people who love in glass-houses should breathe on the windows. Breathe
• I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement… All
• Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life… Apt
• As a rule, from what I've observed, the American Captain of Industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat… American
• That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to… Actually Stand
• It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a… Advantage
• I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. Actually Disgruntled
• Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. Best
• There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. Age
• Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him,… Alone
• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. Almost Wholly

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