P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

280 quotes in 3604 categories

• ...what I feel we ought to do at this juncture is to dash off somewhere where it's quiet and there aren't so many housesdancing the…
• I turned on the pillow with a little moan, and at this juncture Jeeves entered with the vital oolong. I clutched at it like a…
• While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if…
• The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the…
• He was a long, stripy policeman, who flowed out of his uniform at odd spots, as if Nature, setting out to make a constable, had…
• She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice…
• It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as a Pekinese puppy.
• It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to…
• If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up…
• It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
• And, anyway, no matter how much you may behave like the deaf adder of Scripture which, as you are doubtless aware, the more one piped,…
• I go in for what is known in the trade as 'light writing' and those who do that - humorists they are sometimes called -…
• It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
• Slice him where you like, a hellhound is always a hellhound.
• Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean. I can follow the…
• To say that New York came up to its advance billing would be the baldest of understatements. Being there was like being in heaven without…
• Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?
• But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails…
• I wouldn't have a face like that,' proceeded the child, with a good deal of earnestness, 'not if you gave me a million dollars.' He…
• She's one of those soppy girls, riddled from head to foot with whimsy. She holds the view that the stars are God's daisy chain, that…

Browse P.G. Wodehouse Quotes by Category