Guilt says I've done something wrong; ... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; ...… — John Bradshaw Done Copy Share Image
“EMOTIONAL ABANDONMENT AND NARCISSISTIC DEPRIVATION Children need mirroring and echoing. These come from their primary caregiver’s eyes. Mirroring means that someone is… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them… — John Bradshaw Creativity Copy Share Image
“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial. The denial forces members to keep believing the myths and vital lies in… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply… — John Bradshaw Affect Copy Share Image
“EMOTIONAL SHAME BINDS Our emotions are the core of our basic power. Two of the major functions they serve in our psychic… — John Bradshaw Emotional energy Copy Share Image
“Toxic shame, the shame that binds us, is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that “I am flawed and defective as a human… — John Bradshaw Inner self Copy Share Image
“Crushing the toddler’s autonomy and purposeful will is the most damaging form of shaming that can be done. When autonomy is crushed,… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
In a sense, all of my books have been about a 'poisonous pedagogy,' which engenders a culture of obedience, this underlying theme… — John Bradshaw About Copy Share Image
“When our e-motions are not mirrored and named, we lose contact with one of our vital human powers. Parents who are out… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“INTERCONNECTION OF IMAGERY Another way that internalization occurs is by internalizing images. These internal images can be of a shaming person, place… — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
“THE INTERCONNECTION OF MEMORY IMPRINTS THAT FORM COLLAGES OF SHAME As shaming experiences accrue and are defended against, the images created by… — John Bradshaw Grief Copy Share Image
“When we are exposed without any way to protect ourselves, we feel the pain of shame. If we are continually overexposed, shame… — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
Arrogance is a way for a person to cover up shame. After years of arrogance, the arrogant person is so out of… — John Bradshaw Arrogance Copy Share Image
“One is free from depression,” writes Alice Miller in The Drama of the Gifted Child, “when self-esteem is based on the authenticity… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Toxically shamed people tend to become more and more stagnant as life goes on. They live in a guarded, secretive and defensive… — John Bradshaw Interest in life Copy Share Image
“THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY RULES 1. Control or Chaos. One must be in control of all interactions, feelings and personal behavior at all… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings, so I had to go back through therapy and express the… — John Bradshaw Allowed Copy Share Image
There are plenty of quacks in the field. Fewer than you'd expect, though still plenty (in alternative medicine). — John Bradshaw Age Copy Share Image
Children aren't fooled. They know we give time to the things we love. — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Unfortunately, accomplishments do not reduce internalized shame. In fact, the more one achieves, the more one has to achieve. Toxic shame is… — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
“Kaufman terms the “internal shame spiral.” He describes it as follows: A triggering event occurs. Perhaps it is trying to get close… — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
“5. The “No Talk” Rule. This rule prohibits the full expression of any feeling, need or want. In shame-based families, the members… — John Bradshaw Communication Copy Share Image
“In Bradshaw On: The Family, society itself is seen as a sick family system built on the rules of the poisonous pedagogy.… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“When children have shame-based parents, they identify with them. This is the first step in the child’s internalizing shame because the children… — John Bradshaw Authentic self Copy Share Image
