“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“When our instinctual life is shamed, the natural core of our life is bound up. It’s like an acorn going through excruciating… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Toxically shamed people tend to become more and more stagnant as life goes on. They live in a guarded, secretive and defensive… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“All human development, according to Silvan Tompkins, is rooted in affect (feeling) dynamics because affects (feelings) are the primary innate biological motivator… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“One of the significant lessons in my life was given me by Abraham Low, the founder of Recovery, Inc. He said that… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Much has been written about codependency. All agree that it is about the loss of selfhood. Codependency is a condition wherein one… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The major problem in our lives is to decide and clarify our responsibilities. To truly be committed to a life of honesty,… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Toxic shame, with its more-than-human, less-than-human polarization, is either inhuman or dehumanizing. The demand for a false self to cover and hide… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
The foundation for our self-image is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretaker's mirroring. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The job of parents is to model. Modeling includes how to be a man or woman; how to relate intimately to another… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination.… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and for laughing… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A covert kind of sexual abuse occurs when Dad or Mom talk about sex in front of the children when the age level of… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Love-that which biologists, nervous about being misunderstood call "attachment"-fuels the bond between dog and master or mistress.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“(b) Boundary Violation. This involves children witnessing parents in sexual behavior. They may walk in on it because parents don’t provide closed or locked… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and defective. You… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The ego defense of conversion transforms developmental needs into the need for something else. This could be food, money or excessive attention. In Max’s… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“In fact, the most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to teach self-value… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
