“SHAME-BASED FAMILIES AND MULTIGENERATIONAL ILLNESS One of the devastating aspects of toxic shame is that it is multigenerational. The secret and hidden… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial. The denial forces members to keep believing the myths and vital lies in… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY RULES 1. Control or Chaos. One must be in control of all interactions, feelings and personal behavior at all… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“In Bradshaw On: The Family, society itself is seen as a sick family system built on the rules of the poisonous pedagogy.… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“PERFECTIONISM Perfectionism is a family system rule and a core culprit in creating toxic shame. We see it also in both the… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“CHIEF COMPONENT The chief component in the family system is the marriage. If the marriage is healthy and functional, the family will… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
In my family, as in all dysfunctional families, instead of parents who act as strong and nurturing role models for their children,… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED FAMILY RULES Each family system has several categories of rules. There are rules about celebrating and socializing, rules about touching and… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Because the exposure of self to self lies at the heart of neurotic shame, escape from the self is necessary. The escape… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“In functional families the roles are chosen and are flexible. The members have the choice of giving up the roles. In dysfunctional… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED MARRIAGE AND PARENTAL MODELS It is obvious that a major source of toxic shame is the family system and its multigenerational… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Chronically dysfunctioning families are also delusional. Delusion is sincere denial. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The more dysfunctional the system, the more closed and rigid are the roles it assigns. In families that are chemically, sexually or… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Family secrets can go back for generations. They can be about suicides, homicides, incest, abortions, addictions, public loss of face, financial disaster,… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and for laughing… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A covert kind of sexual abuse occurs when Dad or Mom talk about sex in front of the children when the age level of… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Love-that which biologists, nervous about being misunderstood call "attachment"-fuels the bond between dog and master or mistress.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“(b) Boundary Violation. This involves children witnessing parents in sexual behavior. They may walk in on it because parents don’t provide closed or locked… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and defective. You… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The ego defense of conversion transforms developmental needs into the need for something else. This could be food, money or excessive attention. In Max’s… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“In fact, the most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to teach self-value… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
