Healthy shame is an emotion that teaches us about our limits. Like all emotions, shame moves us to get our basic needs… — John Bradshaw Basic needs Copy Share Image
I believe that this neglected, wounded, inner child of the past is the major source of human misery. — John Bradshaw Believe Copy Share Image
“Once an emotion is toxically shame bound, one feels numb. The emotional avoidance is sealed by learning to avoid the avoidance.” — John Bradshaw Avoidance Copy Share Image
“One is free from depression,” writes Alice Miller in The Drama of the Gifted Child, “when self-esteem is based on the authenticity… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“DYNAMIC HOMEOSTASIS Dynamic homeostasis means that whenever a part of the system is out of balance, the rest of the members of… — John Bradshaw Dynamic Copy Share Image
When I walked out of the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid. I had no place… — John Bradshaw Catholic Copy Share Image
“Operant conditioning is not confined to deliberate training; it is one way that cats learn how to deal with whatever surroundings they… — John Bradshaw Cats Copy Share Image
“the male cat’s penis is equipped with 120 to 150 sharp spines, designed to trigger her ovulation (cats, unlike humans, do not… — John Bradshaw Cat Penis Copy Share Image
“I see affect or feeling as the primary innate biological motivating mechanism, more urgent than drive deprivation and pleasure and more urgent… — John Bradshaw Motivation Copy Share Image
Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can… — John Bradshaw Condemning Copy Share Image
“One of the significant lessons in my life was given me by Abraham Low, the founder of Recovery, Inc. He said that… — John Bradshaw Life Copy Share Image
“Most cat owners nowadays expect their cat to live wherever the owners choose. Perhaps not fully understanding the cat’s need to form… — John Bradshaw Cats Copy Share Image
“EMOTIONAL SHAME BINDS Our emotions are the core of our basic power. Two of the major functions they serve in our psychic… — John Bradshaw Emotion Copy Share Image
“Playing roles and acting are forms of lying. If people act like they really feel and it rocks the boat, they are… — John Bradshaw Acting Copy Share Image
Arrogance is a way for a person to cover up shame. After years of arrogance, the arrogant person is so out of… — John Bradshaw Arrogance Copy Share Image
“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial. The denial forces members to keep believing the myths and vital lies in… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“I agree with John Holt that the true test of intelligence is not what you know or can regurgitate from memory on… — John Bradshaw Intelligence Copy Share Image
“In Bradshaw On: The Family, society itself is seen as a sick family system built on the rules of the poisonous pedagogy.… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“During school age, the bright, shame-based child will attempt to develop inhuman ego defenses or defending scripts, such as perfectionism, blaming, criticizing,… — John Bradshaw Character Copy Share Image
“A person with internalized shame believes he is inherently flawed, inferior and defective.Such a feeling is so painful that defending scripts (or… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“(b) Boundary Violation. This involves children witnessing parents in sexual behavior. They may walk in on it because parents don’t provide closed… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Arnold was scapegoated from the moment he set foot in the school. He was laughed at, made fun of and ridiculed by… — John Bradshaw High school Copy Share Image
“3. The child is allowed to experience and express ordinary impulses, such as jealousy, rage, sexuality and defiance, because the parents have… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Alice Miller has summed up these rules under the title “Poisonous Pedagogy” in her book For Your Own Good. These rules state:… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“All human development, according to Silvan Tompkins, is rooted in affect (feeling) dynamics because affects (feelings) are the primary innate biological motivator… — John Bradshaw Anger Copy Share Image
“When emotionally abandoned people describe their childhoods, it is always without feeling. Alice Miller writes, They recount their earliest memories without any… — John Bradshaw Childhood Copy Share Image
“Shame is internalized when one is abandoned. Abandonment is the precise term to describe how one loses one’s authentic self and ceases… — John Bradshaw Abandonment Copy Share Image
The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination.… — John Bradshaw Adventure Copy Share Image
“The disowned part of self is an energy - an emotion or desire or need, that has been shamed every time it… — John Bradshaw Emotions Copy Share Image
“It is very common for one or both parents in a dysfunctional marriage to bond inappropriately with one of their children. The… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“When two-year-olds are thwarted (like every three minutes), they have intense anger and temper tantrums. At this stage the child needs to… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“Much has been written about codependency. All agree that it is about the loss of selfhood. Codependency is a condition wherein one… — John Bradshaw Happiness Copy Share Image
“The roles are like scripts given out for a play. They prescribe what feelings you can or cannot have. After playing my… — John Bradshaw Role Copy Share Image
Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had… — John Bradshaw Emotion Copy Share Image
That's the trouble with the conventional doctors. They always say, 'How does it work?' but often there isn't any neat little answer...Something… — John Bradshaw Age Copy Share Image
“Unfortunately, accomplishments do not reduce internalized shame. In fact, the more one achieves, the more one has to achieve. Toxic shame is… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“By accepting our petting, cats are doing more than enjoying themselves: in their minds, they are almost certainly engaging in a social… — John Bradshaw Cats Copy Share Image
In my family, as in all dysfunctional families, instead of parents who act as strong and nurturing role models for their children,… — John Bradshaw Act Copy Share Image
Guilt says I've done something wrong; ... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake; ...… — John Bradshaw Done Copy Share Image
