Our beliefs create the kind of world we believe in. We project our feelings, thoughts and attitudes onto the world. I can… — John Bradshaw Belief Copy Share Image
The unlimited power that many modern gurus offer is false hope. Their programs calling us to unlimited power have made them rich,… — John Bradshaw Calling Copy Share Image
Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now. When we are present, we are not fabricating… — John Bradshaw Artist Copy Share Image
It's essential to tell the truth at all times. This will reduce life's pain. Lying distorts reality. All forms of distorted thinking… — John Bradshaw Life Copy Share Image
“A covert kind of sexual abuse occurs when Dad or Mom talk about sex in front of the children when the age… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Superachievement and perfectionism are two of the leading cover-ups for toxic shame. As paradoxical as it may seem, the straight-A student and… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and… — John Bradshaw Shamed Copy Share Image
“The ego defense of conversion transforms developmental needs into the need for something else. This could be food, money or excessive attention.… — John Bradshaw Communication Copy Share Image
“The fantasy bond (really bondage) is the illusion that someone is there for them, someone who loves and protects them. The fantasy… — John Bradshaw Bondage Copy Share Image
“Healthy shame is the psychological foundation of humility. It is the source of spirituality. What I discovered was that shame as a… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED MARRIAGE AND PARENTAL MODELS It is obvious that a major source of toxic shame is the family system and its multigenerational… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
“Our healthy shame is essential as the foundation of our spirituality. By reminding us of our essential limitations, our healthy shame lets… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Grandiosity results from the human will becoming disabled. The will is disabled primarily through the shaming of the emotions. The shamed and… — John Bradshaw Psychology Copy Share Image
“To develop strong ego boundaries, children need parents with strong boundaries. No shame-based parent has these. Toxic shame greatly damages our boundaries.… — John Bradshaw Boundaries Copy Share Image
“CONVERSION I spoke of affect and need conversion when I described how Max compensated for his abusive and neglectful abandonment by converting… — John Bradshaw Communication Copy Share Image
“Toxic shame, with its more-than-human, less-than-human polarization, is either inhuman or dehumanizing. The demand for a false self to cover and hide… — John Bradshaw Authentic self Copy Share Image
“Toxic shame, the shame that binds us, is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that “I am flawed and defective as a human… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Blushing manifests the exposure, the unexpectedness, the involuntary nature of shame. In On Shame and the Search for Identity Helen Lynd writes,… — John Bradshaw Blushing Copy Share Image
“Guilt is our morality shame and guards our conscience. It tells us we have transgressed our values. It moves us to take… — John Bradshaw Character Copy Share Image
“Dissmell is the affect that monitors our drive for hunger. It was primarily developed as a survival mechanism. As we’ve become more… — John Bradshaw Motivation Copy Share Image
“Children have an amazing ability to perceive this need in the parent(s). The true self of the child seems to know it… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed. Shame begets shame. The cycle begins… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Kaufman terms the “internal shame spiral.” He describes it as follows: A triggering event occurs. Perhaps it is trying to get close… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply… — John Bradshaw Affect Copy Share Image
In a sense, all of my books have been about a 'poisonous pedagogy,' which engenders a culture of obedience, this underlying theme… — John Bradshaw About Copy Share Image
“Anger is often blocked from conscious awareness and converted into more tolerable or family-authorized feelings, such as hurt or guilt. The person… — John Bradshaw Anger Copy Share Image
“According to Pia Mellody, when “one parent has a relationship with the child that is more important than the relationship he or… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“When Herkamer tells her he hates her, she cries, telling him that maybe someday she won’t be home when he wants her.… — John Bradshaw Feeling terrible Copy Share Image
“Feral cats are remarkably silent compared to domestic cats (except during fighting and courtship, notoriously noisy activities); in particular, such cats rarely… — John Bradshaw Cats Copy Share Image
“A very young child cannot understand that his dad is a sick alcoholic. Children are limited in logical ability. Their earliest way… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“What a perfectionistic system creates is a “how to get it right” behavioral script. In such a script one is taught how… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“IDENTIFICATION When victimization takes place the victim often identifies with the persecutor. By so doing the victim no longer feels the helplessness… — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
“SHAME AS AN IDENTITY (THE INTERNALIZATION PROCESS) Any human emotion can become internalized. When internalized, an emotion stops functioning as an emotion… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Pocaterra looked at blushing as the external sign of shame and believed that blushing was both the recognition of having made a… — John Bradshaw Blushing Copy Share Image
“SHAME—THE MASTER EMOTION Shame has been called the master emotion because as it is internalized-all the other emotions are bound by shame.… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
Our sadness is an energy we discharge in order to heal. …Sadness is painful. We try to avoid it. Actually discharging sadness… — John Bradshaw Emotional Copy Share Image
“Crushing the toddler’s autonomy and purposeful will is the most damaging form of shaming that can be done. When autonomy is crushed,… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“The job of parents is to model. Modeling includes how to be a man or woman; how to relate intimately to another… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also… — John Bradshaw Broken Copy Share Image
