All Jeff Dunham Quotes
- As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark. Dark
- A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things. Audience
- Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it… Anybody
- But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice… Anyone
- I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny. Always Said
- If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Choke
- I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer. Grill
- When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front… Bathroom
- I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job… Addict
- I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist. Audience
- I'm a geek to the bone. Bone
- Growing up doing those Kiwanis Clubs, doing those Cub Scout banquets, doing those church shows, I learned to find that sensibility that most people could… Age
- I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most… Child
- In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our… April
- My mother and my father have always supported me. Now in their eighties, they actually clamor onto the tour bus with me once or twice… Always Supported
- The best place to find material is in real life. I've always maintained that it's not until the mid-20s that you have enough of a… Always Maintained
- The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using the tongue, upper… B F
- Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't… Age
- We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar guy, the tour… Apparently
- When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was… Clubs
- Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there for every major event. Birthday
- I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. Audience
- There are not that many ventriloquists out there who build their own characters. I love that because they are uniquely mine. Build
- My parents never discouraged me. There were a couple times when my dad criticized a couple things that I did, but it was nothing. So… Bad
- All through college, I was searching for characters that would make me unique and set me apart from the typical ventriloquist with the typical dummy… All