"We just got a tour bus. I didn't……" — Jeff Dunham
"We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar guy, the tour manager and a writer. We laugh ourselves silly. Apparently we're going to have a road dog, a miniature pincher. It's the smallest they've ever seen. How masculine am I going to look, working with dolls and a miniature dog?"
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Jeff Dunham
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26 Quotes by Jeff Dunham
Jeff Dunham has 26 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.
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A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.
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Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the…
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But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth,…
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I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad…
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If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
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I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.
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When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and…
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I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup…
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I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.
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I'm a geek to the bone.
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Growing up doing those Kiwanis Clubs, doing those Cub Scout banquets, doing those church shows, I learned to find that…
See all 26 quotes by Jeff Dunham »
More Apparently Quotes
This quote is filed under Apparently Quotes,
one of 751 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act…
— Dave Barry
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Apparently, I get facials and manicures all the time. I read this and think, 'Oh, I wish I did that!'…
— Kate Beckinsale
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I find it difficult to judge myself, but people say that I have become a bit more socially acceptable over…
— Jo Brand
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Men long for an afterlife in which there apparently is nothing to do but delight in heaven's wonders.
— Louis D. Brandeis
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Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
— Joe Bob Briggs
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Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what…
— Deborah Bull
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Apparently there are some Democratic leaders in the Senate that are running for office who now believe in tax cuts.
— Jeb Bush
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I had written the script for Juno and apparently Steven Spielberg had read it. I can't just call him Steven,…
— Diablo Cody
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Apparently, union bosses are so distraught about declining enrollments they will stoop to exploiting illegal workers. There is no doubt…
— Lamar S. Smith
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The Silurian Period-the grandest of all the Periods,-and, as yet, apparently the seed-time of all succeeding life.
— Unknown Author
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According to the teaching of our Lord, what is wrong with the world is precisely that it does not believe…
— John Baillie
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Once you make the unequivocal internal commitment to do something - when you absolutely know this is the time and…
— Sarah Susanka
See all 751 Apparently Quotes »