“Bring on hyperinflation! I want to be a millionaire with minimal work.” — Jarod Kintz Millionaire Copy Share Image
“My motto: I’ll do it today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or not.” — Jarod Kintz Motto Copy Share Image
“I had to close the door on our friendship, because he kept climbing in through my window.” — Jarod Kintz Friendship Copy Share Image
“I wear a helmet when I write, because if you’re doing it right, writing is dangerous.” — Jarod Kintz Writer Copy Share Image
“I’m the most expensive person in my life. Every day I pay for the poor decisions of my past.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m thirsting for fame. I’m so fucking thirsty. Somebody bring me a tall glass of saltwater with a side order of desert.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I was a kid, I was just a boy. But that all changed by my 18th birthday. No longer a kid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The shape of her smile is curved like a lie, like a boomerang she knows she has to catch quickly when it… — Jarod Kintz Boomerang Copy Share Image
“A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate the previous highs of the housing market. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The quickest way to alter an altar is not with a hammer, or even religious deconstruction, but with a typo.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Cats are magicians. They can make my erections disappear. All they have to do is jump in my lap while I’m masturbating.… — Jarod Kintz Golden girls Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a stamp on a letter, to increase the weight and boost the cost and profitability of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“During those hours, I had zero social awareness, as I was asleep. All the joggers who waved at me while I was… — Jarod Kintz Social awareness Copy Share Image
“I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Conventional wisdom holds that water is liquid at room temperature. Well, not if that room’s temperature is 32 degrees. That also happens… — Jarod Kintz Conventional wisdom Copy Share Image
“The piece of junk is a piece of me. It’s a part of my family, and I can’t part with it. The… — Jarod Kintz Family Copy Share Image
“I saw her at the party last Saturday. I could tell by her body language that she wanted me. She was wearing… — Jarod Kintz Body language Copy Share Image
“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is… — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“A sand trap is like a politician in its duality. It represents two opposing viewpoints. You see, it was designed to trap… — Jarod Kintz Golf Copy Share Image
“While I appear to be happy and giggling, rest assured that inside I am sad. And angry. Like that one time—Feb 14,… — Jarod Kintz Happiness Copy Share Image
“Receiving trophies is all about getting recognized. Wearing big sunglasses and a fake mustache is about not being recognized. Why not wearable… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
