“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.” — Jarod Kintz Psychology Copy Share Image
“Don’t raise your hand to ask a question, or I’ll give you a surprise high five.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to grow a Loyalty Beard, to prove my commitment to my favorite shaving cream.” — Jarod Kintz Loyalty Copy Share Image
“I meet people to know I’m not alone. I network like an astronaut on the moon.” — Jarod Kintz Astronaut Copy Share Image
“I am Mr. Needleneeds, and I’m looking for a haystack. It’s easier to find than love.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“If pens doubled as bullets, I bet few writers would want to write about war.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Im trying to overcome my OCD by replacing my neurosis with three other letters. — Jarod Kintz Neurosis Copy Share Image
“A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m probably the last person on earth who will tell you I want to be the last person on earth.” — Jarod Kintz Nature Copy Share Image
“Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had to supply all the gravy.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m hoping my routine will break me out of my rut. If I keep spinning my wheels, I’m bound to become a… — Jarod Kintz Bicycling Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used as billboards on buildings, especially hotels, if you write things like, “Free sex with room.” ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to line the pockets of the politicians, the way the people’s money once was, as we drop them… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves. — Jarod Kintz Boxing Copy Share Image
“The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up… — Jarod Kintz Marxism Copy Share Image
“When I was a little boy, say 17 months old, I lived in the forest. I was raised by bears. We had… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to make a coffee table that consists of a slab of wood supported by four crutches. That way, if a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to separate the winners from the losers. With the exception of me, all men are losers, and… — Jarod Kintz Losers Copy Share Image
“Nobody is either honest or dishonest. Life is a gradient, and a saint might be an 8.7, and a dirtbag politician might… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to help you remember. You’re probably tempted to ask, “Remember what?” And that’s precisely my point—you can’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You’d never been in an elevator before, and I’d never been in love. I said I… — Jarod Kintz Dream Copy Share Image
“The world classifies people into "Haves" and "Have Nots." But that's for people of normal stature. If you're a loser, and a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a few good professors in my painting and drawing classes, but all my graphic design classes tried to teach us… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Cap’n is the cuddliest cat this side of the rabbit hole. He’s like a furry lump of clay, because no matter what… — Jarod Kintz Cats Copy Share Image
“A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist… — Jarod Kintz Dreams Copy Share Image
“But they soon found out that Robert just wasn’t personable, which isn’t surprising since Robert isn’t a person. While Robert was always… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Fredrick gazed into the deep blue eyes of Jackson for a few seconds before answering. “I’d like the best room in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Jarod Kintz was born in Salt Lake City to a family of five. One father, and four mothers. Jarod moved around a… — Jarod Kintz Family Copy Share Image
“Why does Joe Normie think it’s a litmus test for morality if one returns one’s shopping cart? Big-box stores put out of… — Jarod Kintz Business Copy Share Image
“If you only had 48 hours left to live, would you spend it like you normally spend your weekends? If not, why… — Jarod Kintz Free time Copy Share Image
