Best Groucho Marx Proverbs
- The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor… Began
- My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. Been
- I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. Don T
- Was that you or the duck? Duck
- The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth… Among
- I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's. Bigger
- I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that. Absurd
- Whatever it is, I'm against it. Funny
- Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while Billion
- I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. Crazy
- That's bad luck: three on a midget. From "At The Circus Bad
- Time wounds all heels. Advice
- Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and… Book
- Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. Anytime
- Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light. Attitude
- Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you… Book
- The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the… Contract
- No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. Best
- If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. Fun
- Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free! Free
- Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women. Clever
- Any place I hang my head is home. Any
- He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. Crazy
- And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off! Beard
- Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight. Alarm
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