No, they dont, you jealous weakling. Passing Man: God damn, thats a big fat ass. — Eric Cartman Jealous Copy Share Image
Well, Ive been lickin this carpet for 3 whole hours and I dont feel like a lesbian. — Eric Cartman Feel Copy Share Image
Its a mans obligation to stick his boneration in a womens separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the… — Eric Cartman Obligation Copy Share Image
Alright. Look. I didnt want to have to say this, but I think maybe were not seeing heaven because one of us… — Eric Cartman Heaven Doesnt Copy Share Image
Hippies.Theyre everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad. — Eric Cartman Hippies Copy Share Image
I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, Id be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass… — Eric Cartman Bitch Copy Share Image
Ive learned something, too: selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make a lot of money, and… — Eric Cartman Learning Copy Share Image
If some girl tried to kick my ass, Id be like, Hey. Why dont you stop dressing me like a mailman uh,… — Eric Cartman Copy Share Image
Its an Afghanistan goat, so it cant stay here, or else itll choke on the sweet air of freedom. — Eric Cartman Animal Copy Share Image
Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass? — Eric Cartman Things Copy Share Image
Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an… — Eric Cartman Alley Copy Share Image
Butters will give hand jobs in the corner for a dollar. Butters: Sure! Im good at all kinds of jobs. — Eric Cartman Copy Share Image
Handle it? For two billion dollars I could handle my Grandpas balls dude. — Eric Cartman Money Copy Share Image
Token, how many times do we have to go over this? Youre black. You can play the bass. — Eric Cartman Bass Copy Share Image
You so much as TOUCH kittys ass, and Ill put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your… — Eric Cartman Kittys Ass Copy Share Image
I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about protectin the earth and then drive around in cars that get… — Eric Cartman Nature Copy Share Image
When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls… — Eric Cartman Friendship Copy Share Image
The poor kid passes it to the Jew, the Jew shoots. He misses! Proving once and for all that Jews cannot play… — Eric Cartman Hockey Copy Share Image
You have rats in your house, too, Kenny? Seriously, you better stop being so poor or else Im gonna start huckin rocks… — Eric Cartman Rats Copy Share Image
Heaven could be like the pixie fairies of Bubblegum Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them. — Eric Cartman Believe Copy Share Image
Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didnt even charge me money for it. He just made me close my… — Eric Cartman Asshole Copy Share Image
“You know, that stuff you get as a appetizer at Thai food restaurants. "meecrob" is way grosser than "shit," dude. I'd scarf… — Eric Cartman Thai food Copy Share Image
