Money Quote by Eric Cartman

Alright. Look. I didnt want to have to say this, but I think maybe were not seeing heaven because one of us doesnt believe…

— Eric Cartman

Ive learned something, too: selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make a lot of money, and when you…

— Eric Cartman

I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, Id be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in…

— Eric Cartman

Its a mans obligation to stick his boneration in a womens separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

— Eric Cartman

Speaking of pounding ass, here comes Stans little homo dog.

— Eric Cartman

If some girl tried to kick my ass, Id be like, Hey. Why dont you stop dressing me like a mailman uh, and making…

— Eric Cartman

No, they dont, you jealous weakling. Passing Man: God damn, thats a big fat ass.

— Eric Cartman

Hippies.Theyre everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

— Eric Cartman

Well, Ive been lickin this carpet for 3 whole hours and I dont feel like a lesbian.

— Eric Cartman

How would you like to suck my balls?

— Eric Cartman

MomKitty is being a dildo.

— Eric Cartman

Respect My Authority!

— Eric Cartman