You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding. — Dov Davidoff Anger Copy Share Image
The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt. — Dov Davidoff Ability Copy Share Image
Throwing up is natures way of saying you need to re-examine your idea of a good time. — Dov Davidoff Good times Copy Share Image
When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in… — Dov Davidoff Angry Copy Share Image
The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness. — Dov Davidoff Expectations Copy Share Image
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship. — Dov Davidoff Gay Copy Share Image
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it… — Dov Davidoff Awful Copy Share Image
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high… — Dov Davidoff Athletic Copy Share Image
The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something. — Dov Davidoff Beautiful Copy Share Image
If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon. — Dov Davidoff Ifs Copy Share Image
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money. — Dov Davidoff Be proud Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite. — Dov Davidoff Persons Copy Share Image
If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it,… — Dov Davidoff Actors Copy Share Image
Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable. — Dov Davidoff Children Copy Share Image
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't… — Dov Davidoff Addiction Copy Share Image
Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in… — Dov Davidoff Body Copy Share Image
The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity. — Dov Davidoff Care Copy Share Image
America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to… — Dov Davidoff America Copy Share Image
Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains. — Dov Davidoff Curtains Copy Share Image
Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick… — Dov Davidoff Admire Copy Share Image
I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to… — Dov Davidoff Decided Copy Share Image
Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms. — Dov Davidoff Choosing sides Copy Share Image
Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'. — Dov Davidoff Happiness Copy Share Image
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce. — Dov Davidoff Fear Copy Share Image
The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving… — Dov Davidoff Aging Copy Share Image
