Darynda Jones

“You would use your body to get what you want?" "In a heartbeat." He was hurt. I could feel it echo through…

— Darynda Jones

No, no, no, no, no. Anything but murder. Or rape. Or kidnapping. Or armed robbery. Or indecent exposure, ’cause that’s just creepy.

— Darynda Jones

We could make this work, you know." "I will knee you in the groin." "I could give you a night you will…

— Darynda Jones

“I have a perfect body, it's in my trunk. T-shirt”

— Darynda Jones

Where you just possessed?" Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. "'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that…

— Darynda Jones

“Holy shit, are you positive?" "As a pregnancy test a month after prom.”

— Darynda Jones

Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.

— Darynda Jones

You introduced me to Danger and Will Robinson, but you neglected to acquaint me with the other two.” “Fine,But you can’t make…

— Darynda Jones

You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT

— Darynda Jones

Garrett must have sensed I was awake. "Hey Detective," he said to Uncle Bob, who was now trudging across the grating toward…

— Darynda Jones

“With a deep regret, I wiggled out from under him despite his sleepy protests and grabbed articles of clothing as I tiptoed…

— Darynda Jones

Then I asked her if she wanted to to the funeral, and my God, the look on her face. You'd think I'd…

— Darynda Jones

“I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in.”

— Darynda Jones

“Though I did come to a rather morbid conclusion in those few fleeting seconds: Better a dead clown in my apartment than…

— Darynda Jones

Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to…

— Darynda Jones

“I was an atheist until I realized I was god. What happens if you get scared to death >twice. National sarcasm society:like…

— Darynda Jones

Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows?

— Darynda Jones

“For the first time in my life, I knew what was at stake. I had answers I no longer wanted. Still, I…

— Darynda Jones

“Que no me importe no quiere decir que no lo entienda.”

— Darynda Jones

“Just remember,” Reyes said, “anything you do to my daughter, I do to you.” “What?” Osh stared, aghast. “What the fuck are…

— Darynda Jones

Garret Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn't gay, which was too bad because then I could…

— Darynda Jones

Least he's committed," I offered. "Or needs to be.

— Darynda Jones

My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.” I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left.…

— Darynda Jones

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

— Darynda Jones

Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me…

— Darynda Jones