Best Billy Connolly Quotes
- In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded. Difference
- The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the… All
- ,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go… All
- Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you… Become Successful
- I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: "Hey ?… America
- There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are… Badge
- I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed. Arm
- I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea. Decided
- For me, it's about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be… Animal
- My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. Definition
- I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. Always Wanted
- Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Bicycle
- Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on. Alone
- There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter. June
- Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark… Act
- The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. Afterwards
- It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things. All
- If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? First Name
- I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless. Been
- I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings… Angel
- I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be. Afraid
- I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented.… All
- Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up. Inspirational
- My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. Department
- As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me. Got Successful
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