God, I felt certain, did not mind that I didn’t press my hands together to pray. I was casual, but I was… — Augusten Burroughs Answers Copy Share Image
And I hope she does not live in a dark world. Because even the most terrible loss doesn't have to make you… — Augusten Burroughs Dark Copy Share Image
“The year I snuck an interracial lesbian couple into the background of an American Airlines commercial, I was feeling particularly flush.” — Augusten Burroughs American Airlines Copy Share Image
My only ritual is to just sit down and write, write every day. — Augusten Burroughs Down and Copy Share Image
“Despite evidence to the contrary, I hated drinking to the point that I misplaced really big slabs of time.” — Augusten Burroughs Time Copy Share Image
“Unscripted, unedited, and wholly authentic people are almost universally admired, especially if they have flaws, are not afraid to make live, red-blooded… — Augusten Burroughs Failure Copy Share Image
“Speaking the words aloud so they would exist in the world and begin to become real.” — Augusten Burroughs Language Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to waste any of my brain cells on forgiving if it's holding me back. — Augusten Burroughs Brain Copy Share Image
“Well, somehow I felt if I sent Sally a donation, she would open the envelope herself and squeeze the cash into the… — Augusten Burroughs Pizza hut Copy Share Image
The truth is humbling, terrifying, and often exhilarating. It blows the doors off the hinges and fills the world with fresh air. — Augusten Burroughs Air Copy Share Image
The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you… — Augusten Burroughs Problem Copy Share Image
But then, look at me. My brain is incorrectly formed, and I'm shaped like a tube. Plus, I'm an alcoholic, a "survivor"… — Augusten Burroughs Abuse Copy Share Image
The thing for someone just starting off [in writing] is to write. You need to have limber fingers, whether you write with… — Augusten Burroughs Able Copy Share Image
So that's what I'm here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven't felt since… — Augusten Burroughs Brands Copy Share Image
In general, advertising isn't a "creative" atmosphere. It's a business atmosphere and your job is puzzle solving. My favorite aspect of the… — Augusten Burroughs Ads Copy Share Image
“I wish I had a tray table in my bedroom and I wish I smoked, just so I could extinguish my smoking… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“After I cut off his penis, I sautéed it in rosemary butter and ate it" "But did you go to a meeting… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
But feelings, no matter how strong or “ugly,” are not a part of who you are. They are the radio stations your… — Augusten Burroughs Admitting Copy Share Image
“You know what we need? We need to get jobs, get the fuck out of that crazy house,' Natalie said, dipping a… — Augusten Burroughs Oral Sex Copy Share Image
I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking… — Augusten Burroughs Cafeteria Copy Share Image
“It seems like maybe we tried to sleep normally a long time ago, when Bentley was a puppy. But then he gradually… — Augusten Burroughs Long time Copy Share Image
“We never sampled our drugs because we were afraid of them, but to admit it aloud would have broken the spell.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“All improvements, transformations, achievements, liberations; everything you want to change about yourself and your life; everything you want to make happen, any… — Augusten Burroughs Change Copy Share Image
People generally like happy endings, which is something I learned from my years in advertising. I like happy endings myself, but only… — Augusten Burroughs Advertising Copy Share Image
“You know, American alcoholics are pretty fucking hard to insult.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image