Andy Borowitz Quotes
- Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
- Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.
- Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.
- As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
- You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
- Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.