Dog Quote by Anonymous

I've been on a dog-buying spree. I got two Yorkies and a small teacup Chihuahua.

— Valee

I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is…

— Chic Murray

I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan's doughnuts in the rec room and fed it to the attack poodle…

— Ilona Andrews

“Joanne Sanders, a broad woman in her forties, posed with friends, family, and Snowball in photographs displayed on the mantel of the fake fireplace.…

— Emily Kimelman

Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didnt even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and…

— Eric Cartman

It's very expensive to treat your dog, and thankfully, I was able to do that.

— Ashlan Gorse Cousteau

“Here's a taxidermist's," Bill said. "Want to buy anything? Nice stuffed dog?" "Come on," I said. "You're pie-eyed." "Pretty nice stuffed dogs," Bill said.…

— Ernest Hemingway

I ate my dinner and threw the scraps in the garbage. The dogs knocked the can over to pick up where I left off

— Rochelle Morrison

I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with…

— Steve Martin

You'd been petting a stuffed dog?' she said 'A dead one?' 'It was a really well stuffed dog' I clarified. 'I have seen some…

— Maureen Johnson

I spent all night feeding the homeless to dogs.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.

— Steven Wright