Dog Quote by Steve Martin

I ate my dinner and threw the scraps in the garbage. The dogs knocked the can over to pick up where I left off

— Rochelle Morrison

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed…

— Emo Philips

I sandpapered the roof of my mouth with 3 bowls of Cap'n Crunch - had raw gobbets of mouth-beef dangling onto my tongue all day

— Douglas Coupland

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in…

— Noel Fielding

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her…

— Paul O'Grady

Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the…

— Erma Bombeck

If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'

— Demetri Martin

Silently, I lifted my doggy bowl off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flip of my wrist, I threw it into the back…

— Stephenie Meyer

Eating A Frozen Dr.Pepper In A Can.. With A Fork.. Yep.. I'm Normal

— Anonymous

I made sure it was nice & warm, demolished some of it & got tired of eating it so I swallowed the rest, I…

— Syoung

I'm sitting sideways at a Chinese buffet. Swangin' through Saint Tropez, I done poured a four in my cherry marmalade.

— Riff Raff

“A PICNIC IS NOT AN ADVENTURE! Excuse me, but at thirty-eight and over six foot, trying to sit cross-legged on the ground to eat…

— Miranda Hart