Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Normally you have news, weather and travel…but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
Queen Elizabeth is reserved when she meets strangers - but with friends and family she can be very witty. — Princess Michael of Kent Copy Share Image
“So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been blessed, because the type I started in was competition based. It was about being witty and smart and innovative and… — Eva Marcille Copy Share Image
I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed. Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Genuine witticisms surprise those who say them as much as those who listen to them; they arise in us in spite of… — Joseph Joubert Copy Share Image
“I wish I could say something witty in return, but it often takes hours or days later for me to formulate an… — Kat Lieu Copy Share Image
A favorite strategy was the paragraph-terminating: Right? Followed immediately by Wrong. This linear invitation to a mugging was considered a strategy of… — Renata Adler Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“This sentence consists of eleven words, twenty-three syllables and seventy-four letters.” — Charles Pearson Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl will bring you breakfast in bed. A lady will be your breakfast in bed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Puppies, babies, and husbands; adorable until you have to actually take care of them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“One of the great advantages of having a library,your eminence, is that it is full of books.” — Michael Hirst Copy Share Image
“All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Neatness of phrase is so closely akin to wit that it is often accepted as its substitute. — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
If I were in this business only for the business, I wouldn't be in this business. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
''SYMPATHY''... You can get from Anybody -- But...!! ''JEALOUSY''... You have to Earn it…!!!!!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are caregivers and there are caretakers, and yet the two words are not opposites. Why is this? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty. — George Eliot Copy Share Image
