Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Wit lies in the likeness of things that are different, and in the difference of things that are alike. — Madame de Stael Copy Share Image
Wit is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor, if he knows not how to use it discreetly. — Michel de Montaigne Copy Share Image
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I would rather stay positive and get 50 percent good results, than stay negative and get 100 percent bad results! — Joyce Meyer Copy Share Image
Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on… — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
Genuine witticisms surprise those who say them as much as those who listen to them; they arise in us in spite of… — Joseph Joubert Copy Share Image
A favorite strategy was the paragraph-terminating: Right? Followed immediately by Wrong. This linear invitation to a mugging was considered a strategy of… — Renata Adler Copy Share Image
It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Zane Parata,” she said, settling into the seat opposite him. “I thought you’d gotten swallowed up in a twister and settled among… — Katherine McIntyre Copy Share Image
A secondhand wardrobe hand clothes doesn't make one an artist. Neither do a hair-trigger temper, melancholic nature, propensity for tears, hating your… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
“You are the most amazing girl i know. And it´s not just that you´re hot, which you are, but you´re smart and… — Michelle Madow Copy Share Image
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“There was a few seconds' pause. Then Amit said: I meant, what were you thinking just now. When? said Lata. When you… — Vikram Seth Copy Share Image
“The poor man’s face twisted into a grimace and he pounded on the bar, protesting loudly. “Oh, you shush,” Kim demanded as… — Kirsten Fullmer Copy Share Image
“Forgive me. It was stupid of me to think you might need company, when clearly all you required was that decanter.” “It… — Madeline Hunter Copy Share Image
...whatever other qualities Jews may posses, likable or the reverse, no one who knows them well can deny that they are personally… — Ernest Jones Copy Share Image
You can choose, you can go one of two ways. You can be the person I probably admire more and say 'well… — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
