Witty Quotes · Page 3

I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads.

— Nikhil Saluja

She watch Titanic for the love story. I watch it for one scene with boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you are an asshole, we can be best Friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

Knowledge isn't power, cleavage is.

— Nikhil Saluja

“He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.”

— Derek Landy

If she's still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

— Psyche_Zeroh

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

— Nikhil Saluja

I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

— Nikhil Saluja

A wife is just an attachment men screw on the bed to get the housework done.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business.

— Nikhil Saluja

I didn't give a fuck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying fuck.

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dear xams.. sorry to say this but we dont get along qte well..! the more closer u cum the more am pissed…

— Allarefake

I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from!

— Nikhil Saluja

Nowhere are prejudices more mistaken for truth, passion for reason and invective for documentation than in politics.

— John Mason Brown

A business must have a conscience as well as a counting house.

— Montague Burton

Not being able to sleep at night is a real eye opener.

— Superman

If you like me, raise your hand. If you don't, raise your standards

— Shahrukh Khan

HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage;

— Nikhil Saluja

You are you... when you are at peace with who you are not.

— Nikhil Saluja

“Warm, aquamarine eyes stared into him—providing a lifeline to shore. And he wondered if she was really the one who needed saving…

— J. Rose Black

I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem!

— Lauryn Hill

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

— Groucho Marx

“Loneliness is just an empty house with too many echoes.”

— Janus Lucky