John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are more likely to be struck by lightening than women. That means no storms occur in a kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I look at my Twitter feed sometimes, and there's just people tearing apart other performers. — Megan Hilty Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitter taught me how to become better at writing jokes because it forces you to chip away at all the extraneous words. — Peter Serafinowicz Copy Share Image
According To Twitter Everyone Is A CEO, Rapper, Model, Club Promoter, DJ, Poet, Singer, Actress/Actor...... Y'all Ain't Shit — Kiana J Wilson Copy Share Image
People on Twitter seem like much better friends than the kids I know I'm real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea: A smart phone that doesn't receive phone calls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I tend to write three to four hours a day, depending - oftentimes very late at night. When I write on Twitter,… — Roxane Gay Copy Share Image
Tip: Speak English. Kiss French. Drive German. Dress Italian. Spend Arab. Party Caribbean. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My biggest concern is the abundance of public doubt and misunderstanding when it comes to Twitter's vision and the near future for… — Chris Sacca Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be in the position that I am if I didn't have my 'One… — Jana Kramer Copy Share Image
Twitter is the ultimate service for the mobile age - its simplification and constraint of the publishing medium to 140 characters is… — Matt Mullenweg Copy Share Image
