Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It upset me that, five days after the hurricane hit down in New Orleans, the President's plan was for a day of… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Department of Homeland Security recommends a three-day supply of water consisting of one bottle per day for each person in your… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
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