It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer." — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
'Warning: Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth.'...Found MY brand! Just don't get the ones that say 'lung cancer.' — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
