Sarcasm Quotes · Page 23

“I don't want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.”

— Becca Fitzpatrick

I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

— Tyler Oakley

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife.”

— K. Martin Beckner

I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to pissed off homophobes

— Kurt Cobain

Girl: All boys are the same Yes, because Zac Efron, Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama share extreme similarities.

— Anonymous

Listening to a conversation & screaming all the funny things you'd say in your head...

— Anonymous

“Casting sarcasm ain't easy.. It needs hard work and a big mug of cappuccino!”

— Himmilicious

“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

— Josh Stern

“You're back where you swore yourself you wouldn't be The familiar shackles you can't tell from your own skin Your head's under…

— Sanhita Baruah

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so…

— Arthur Conan Doyle

“You're Professor Mills? The new one who teaches history?" As opposed to the old Professor Mills who preached overthrow of the government?”

— Josh Lanyon

“He didn’t hold the door open, instead letting it fly back and knock me in the face. “Thanks,” I muttered, rubbing my…

— A. Meredith Walters

An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the…

— Nicolas Chamfort

I think my parents are getting to think that my phone is my eye controller..if they take it away from me, I…

— Syoung

I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is…

— Andrea Fay Friedman

“I could just hear my mom now, "You know those old candy cigarettes are bad for you. Next thing you know, you'll…

— K. Martin Beckner

“Yes", she said her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's exactly what I'm saying, in fact let's try sex again." She leaped to…

— Larissa Ione

“Lost in thought, it took her several moments to realize that Jace had been saying something to her. When she blinked at…

— Cassandra Clare

“Hal frowned. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Uh, live in a tropical paradise for a week and sip fruity…

— Cary Attwell

Dr. Munro, sir," said he, "I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the…

— Arthur Conan Doyle

This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because,…

— Stephenie Meyer

Oh yeah, you’re a regular sage. Shouldn’t you be sitting on a mountain somewhere cultivating a long white beard waiting for knowledge…

— Jacquelyn Frank

I’d better get going or Valek will be wondering where I am.” “Yes, by all means go. I noticed you and Valek…

— Maria V. Snyder

“Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung…

— Alicia Thompson

“I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.”

— Nicki Elson

I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety.

— Arthur Conan Doyle

The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .

— Arthur Conan Doyle

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

— Anonymous

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

— Ashleigh Brilliant

I'm sorry, did the beginning of my sentence inturrupt the middle of yours?

— Anonymous

Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

— Anonymous

“You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!”

— Harry S. Truman

“Yeah, because you'll really be showing them, won't you. Talk about cutting up your wrists to spite your fate.”

— Alexander Gordon Smith

“Sometimes when I have the feeling like I’m almost crying, it can turn into an almost-laughing feeling.”

— R.J. Palacio

Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.

— Psyche_Zeroh

“And her dumplings were so light they would float in the air and you'd have to catch 'em to eat 'em.”

— Fannie Flagg

I am a bit sassy, with some sarcasm thrown into the mix, but stoic at the same time - and brash.

— Mike Daniels

I now know how uncomfortable most parents have it when they're having the sex talk with their children.

— Epifania Savea

The lyrics were my sarcastic way of realizing you can't be the king of the hill all the time.

— Hayley Williams

a sarcastic expression, on a beast, is far more sinister than rage.

— Anne Bosworth Greene