When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
