Im the kind of person who thinks that sarcasm should be bottled and sold in department stores. — Cellan Slarcas Copy Share Image
“Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn’t have the heart to tell my father.” — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
If you wait for the waiter in the restaurant, Aren't you a waiter? — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
“Even better. We're going to be murdered in our beds by infidels.” — J. Anderson Coats Copy Share Image
I've been invited to a Halloween party tonight in America. To scare all the Yanks, I'm going as low-fat food! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters” — Philip K. Dick Copy Share Image
My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not… — Melissa Rivers Copy Share Image
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I didn't slap anyone! I was just swinging my hand in the air and someone decided to block it with his cheek.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel. — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
“Humor and sarcasm: Humor and sarcasm are two very common ways to deflect, avoid, or simply deny feelings and thoughts.” — Shirley Impellizzeri Copy Share Image
“You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all."… — Hazel Blackthorn Copy Share Image
“Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. “Let’s hurry up and pay before she”-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-“sees something… — Kimberly Derting Copy Share Image
Picture a place called the Karma Kafe and it'll save me the bother of describing it. There was nothing in it you… — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
“That’s not what I… never mind. What are our fathers talking about, exactly?” “Oh, I’m sure they’re just catching up on old… — Heather Sunseri Copy Share Image
“Abby wouldn't want you to suffer because of some jerk that kidnapped her. She would want you to go on your trip… — Ottilie Weber Copy Share Image
I believe no satirist could breathe this air. If another Juvenal or Swift could rise up among us tomorrow, he would be… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“And your neihjbour is sitting next door weeping as she watches her child facing a crowd of Palestiniankids armed with rocks which… — Linda Grant Copy Share Image
“Sophie coughed, and Oliver felt his cheeks becoming warm. “Don’t be an ass, Andrew.” “That’s a little bit difficult to accomplish, y’know?”… — Zeinab Alayan Copy Share Image
“Desjani pulled out a ration bar. 'Hungry?' she asked Geary. 'I had something earlier. Is that a Yanika Babiya?' 'No. It’s .… — Jack Campbell Copy Share Image
“All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back… — Sarah Orne Jewett Copy Share Image
“You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.” — Jules Barnard Copy Share Image
“You could shove it up your ass and pretend you're a corn dog." COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED” — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one. — Mae West Copy Share Image
“I used to be a mddle-of-the-road kid, but now with my freaky looks I'm definately an outsider. Hooray.” — Evan Kuhlman Copy Share Image
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So said by the idiot who can't understand it. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm. — Frank Dane Copy Share Image
I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's amazing how everyone becomes a political genius one month every 4 years. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Cool Story Bro..Why Don't You Write A Book About iT Then Sell iT To Someone Who Actually Gives A Fuhk..! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I can't kiss my own ass what makes you think I'm going to kiss yours? — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
The subconscious doesn't distinguish sarcasm and jokes. It just accepts what it hears. That's the power of words. — India Arie Copy Share Image
