Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm. — Frank Dane Copy Share Image
I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's amazing how everyone becomes a political genius one month every 4 years. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back… — Sarah Orne Jewett Copy Share Image
“You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.” — Jules Barnard Copy Share Image
“Um, hate to break it to you, nut Em doesn't need justice", I pointed out, voice heavy with sarcasm. "She needs to… — Joanna Wylde Copy Share Image
“You like them," I realized. Noah's eyebrows lifted in question. "Like as people." "As opposed to...furniture?" "They're my PARENTS." "That is my… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“I'm good. And it's good to see you've kept up the tradition of getting the holy shit beat out of you,even when… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Polish people have a wit and sarcasm. They're gentle but still very strong. Like, they love beer, which is traditionally so manly,… — Antoni Porowski Copy Share Image
American Indigence- Seeking or wishing to have more hands to reach out to fill the bottomless void from which there should be… — Mark Maliszewski Copy Share Image
“Could you attempt, at least, to make yourself presentable? I know this is a war, but the rest of us are trying… — Kristin Cashore Copy Share Image
“I tried to step back quickly but James grabbed my hand. "C'mon," he said "this'll be fun." Geez... What's your definition of… — Bella Shadow Copy Share Image
“I ken who you are! You're Strathfearn's granddaughter. Julie Stuart, is it? Och, aye, Lady Julia! Well then, Lady Julia, tell me… — Elizabeth Wein Copy Share Image
A lot of people try to use sarcasm to flirt, and it tends not to read well. Most people who are successful… — Amy Webb Copy Share Image
“I throw on some sweatpants and tell everyone I want a 'real' coffee which sounds more believable than telling them I'm going… — Juno Dawson Copy Share Image
“You know the difference between right and wrong,' he repeated finally. 'Man, why did you need Initiation—by the Golden Dawn, or by… — Robert Anton Wilson Copy Share Image
I noticed I been spacing off quite a lot today... Most would say I'm unfocused and bored But I say this once… — MrCountry Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t very well make a special delivery to the door of the constabulary now could I? And he’d have made the… — Ella J. Fraser Copy Share Image
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but any organization that claims you for a member doesn’t get to call itself sinister,… — Courtney Milan - The Suffragette Scandal Copy Share Image
“Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?' 'You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status… — Andy Weir Copy Share Image
“Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine.… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
“You could shove it up your ass and pretend you're a corn dog." COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED” — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
Im the kind of person who thinks that sarcasm should be bottled and sold in department stores. — Cellan Slarcas Copy Share Image
“Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn’t have the heart to tell my father.” — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
If you wait for the waiter in the restaurant, Aren't you a waiter? — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
“Even better. We're going to be murdered in our beds by infidels.” — J. Anderson Coats Copy Share Image
I've been invited to a Halloween party tonight in America. To scare all the Yanks, I'm going as low-fat food! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters” — Philip K. Dick Copy Share Image
Person: YOU GET ON MY F*CKING NERVES! Me: So you're gonna caps-lock me to death? — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
“So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“The Gay' is not infectious, the world is not coming to an end, and people are happy. Gosh, how about that.” — Kelley York Copy Share Image
“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?” — Carrie Harris Copy Share Image
If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
I've just got to remind myself that it's hard to express tone and sarcasm and stuff through text. — Kyle Larson Copy Share Image
If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies. — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once. — Andre Brie Copy Share Image
