It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
